i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
