it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
