I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
