i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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