Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
