Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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