if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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