Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
