Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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