I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
