Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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