Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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