You just made me feel so damn special
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
