2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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