i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
