So drunk its hurt
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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