can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
