some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
