Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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