i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
