KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
