areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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