The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
