I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
