I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
