so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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