I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
