I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
