i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
