I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
