Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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