Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
