On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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