Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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