I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
God, I missed his penis.
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