it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
