woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
