Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
