my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
