how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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