I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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