If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
