It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
