Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
