Me. At least after what I've been through.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
