New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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