her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I believe in your delicious
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
