He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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