Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
accomplished twins. life is a go
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
