If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
