3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
